How I overcame my doubts that I wasn't creative

You know those moments in life that just click?Where your whole body goes, "THIS. This is it." Well, I had one of those moments when I was just 12 years old.

My dream, right there

There I was, standing in a tiny hilltop village in France, wandering into this beautiful ceramic art gallery. I can still feel the energy of that place now — it was like something deep inside me lit up. I literally said to myself:"I'm going to live in France and do art. This feels like home."

...And then, you know what I did? Walked straight out of there and into biochemistry studies. (Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.)

Truth is, from a really young age, I was already tangled up in the whole "I'm not good enough" story. At junior school, I sat next to the girl who was AMAZING at drawing — and all I could do was compare myself and shrink a little smaller. Yet somehow, creativity kept trying to sneak back in. My junior school teacher flooded us with art projects. My mum filled our home with craft materials. I loved it. I wanted it. But deep down, the thoughts whispered:"I'm not creative enough.""I'm not artistic.""I can't draw." And the biggest dream killer of them all:"There's no career in art."

So, las you do in thoser young years, I listened to those voices. Off I went into biochemistry labs, white coat and all, and spent 12 whole years in jobs that made my soul feel like it was dying, little by little, every single day. (Spoiler alert: I hated EVERY SINGLE MOMENT.)

So, what changed?

Honestly? Desperation .I couldn’t face another minute in the labs. I felt pulled towards beauty therapy and make-up artistry, another career I had thought about but felt it was too "wishy washy", but that niggling feeling stayed and I just had to answer it — so even though I was TERRIFIED, I made a leap. I left. At the time I was working as a research assistant in a genetics research lab at Oxford University and here I was telling the professor and her personal Biochemist that " i was leaving to go and work selling make up"!! Can you imagine! Oh they mocked me, but I didn't care, i couldn't do scientific calculations any more. I somehow landed a job at Clarins as a skincare consultant — I honestly couldn't believe they hired me! (Total imposter syndrome, anyone?) And I LOVED it!

And that's when I discovered two huge things:

1. I LOVED working with people. Helping, advising, connecting.

2. I LOVED colour. Playing with make-up, setting up the stand, blending and experimenting — it lit something up inside me I thought I'd buried.

   
   

From there, creativity started tiptoeing back into my life. First it was painting on glass and porcelain (starting with the "safe, classic" stuff). But pretty soon, I was breaking all the rules — mixing paints just to see what happened, throwing caution to the wind.

One of my first plates

Polymer clay fun from my early days

Next came painting on plastic, card making, and then... Polymer clay. (Was I into making teeny-tiny objects and fiddly designs? Heck no. I was too busy mixing colours, pushing boundaries, seeing what magic would happen.)

My first canvas...And the turquoise was there, even then!

It was all about play. Trial and error. Letting go of the rule book and It still is.

Eventually, acrylic paints called to me. I painted my first canvas — it was stiff, structured... but the turquoise and teal tones were there, and they've stayed with me ever since.Those colours feel like home.

Before long, I wanted to share this feeling with others — and so I started running creative experimentation workshops where people could rediscover their innate creativity .I watched people’s faces light up when they realised they could create — even if they'd believed for years they weren’t "artistic". (Maybe you know a little something about that too?)

My whole creative journey has been one big experiment. Trying, daring, breaking rules, making magic. And when I found Flora Bowley's work — the way she painted in layers, feeling her way through the process — something cracked open inside me. For the first time, I FELT the emotions move through me as I painted. It wasn’t about "getting it right". It was about freedom. The freedom to do it my way, the freedom to feel and above all the freedom to find me through the creative process.

And that... was the true beginning of what is now IntuARTiv Expression™ —a way of creating and healing that's wild, intuitive, emotional, and beautifully yours.

If you take anything from my story, let it be this: You were never "not creative enough". You just needed to throw out the rule book and trust your own magic.

We are all born creators and we often only begin to rediscover that when we are no longer bearing children, when our womb space is searching for a new way to create, the enrgy that once created life, ius now ready to create in another way "Ready to reconnect with your own creativity? That wild, free, magical part of you is still there — and I'd be honoured to help you find it again. You can explore your own creativity in a safe and non judgemental environment, and that is CreARTiv Flow, an online community where I take you along on ly creative journey whilst helping you start yours. Find out more about CreARTiv Flow here