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I made a mistake by taking a change of direction!

What an incredible journey it has been, and it all started when I began questioning my path earlier this year. Those familiar questions surfaced:

"Who am I?",

"What am I about?",

"What should I be doing?",

"What do I want to do?",

and

"What have I always wanted to do?"

My mind went on a wild goose chase, searching for answers within the depths of my being.

In that moment, my inner child emerged, standing beside a box filled with the toys of my dreams, all the things I had longed to do and be. She playfully threw each one at me, saying, "Catch!",

"You wanted to do this!",

"Oh, and you're good at this!",

and "Do you remember this?"

It felt like one of those moments, or rather months, when you start tidying up but stumble upon an old game and get completely absorbed in playing it instead.


Woma,n wearing a mask
Getting distracted !

My inner child was on a mission to explore and clear away the clutter. She rummaged through everything, discarding items that no longer served me. I distinctly remember saying, "No more Emotion Code. It's too intense, I need a break," and with that, it was tossed aside, along with other ideas. Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. "I only want to paint!," I declared. Painting was my true love, my passion. But as I immersed myself in painting, my work began to dwindle, and eventually, there was no work at all, I was painting with no direction, no aim and I had stopped everything without thought. Panic set in.


woman in deep thought
I was worried

In a desperate attempt to salvage the situation, I dove back into that metaphorical toy box. And there, buried deep at the bottom, I rediscovered a forgotten treasure—France.=! It hit me like a revelation! "That's it!" I exclaimed. "I'm all about France—the language, the culture, the food, the life. I've lived here for 20 years, and I know it inside out. My art could intertwine with it, along with Emotion Code. It was time to change direction. The possibilities overwhelmed me. However, I failed to listen to the wisdom of Human Design (you should Google it!). It was all there, guiding me. As an emotional center in Human Design, I should have waited for my emotional wave to settle before making any decisions. And as a Generator in Human Design, I should have allowed myself to respond to what naturally came my way, finding joy in the process and allowing it all to unfold. But instead, I rode the wave like a surfer, only to be swept up onto the shore, feeling drained and defeated. I revamped my website, created pages and groups that never gained traction. I could envision it all so clearly, but there was no demand, no work. it was like I had the ideas but couldn't ground or embody them. Doubts began to creep into my mind, and a sense of confusion settled in. The wave had crashed, leaving me lost in the realm of social media and abandoned blogs. I could see how everything I had done and could do fit together perfectly. My problem (and my strength) is that I can envision the potential in every idea, even creating a business plan for cleaning plug holes (believe me, I could!). But this strength of mine was also my downfall, as I found myself wanting to pursue every idea that crossed my mind. Then I hit a wall—financially and emotionally. The money dried up completely, and no matter how much effort I put in, it felt futile. It was like trying to inflate a punctured tire; no matter how much I pumped, it remained flat. It was in that moment, as I closed my eyes to sleep, that I turned to the Divine, my higher self, and my guides for answers.

"What am I missing?" I asked. And the response was profound: The Divine: "You believe the money isn't there, but it is."

Me: "But I can't see it." The Divine replied "That's because you believe you can't see it. You're chasing after things to bring in money, which indicates a lack thereof. You're vibrating at the wrong frequency." I responded, "Okay, I'm beginning to see..." The Divine answered "Knowing the money is there doesn't mean spending it or pursuing things you can't afford (Not that I was doing that). It means embodying the belief that it's already present. Do what you love as if you didn't need the money. Embrace your art. Focus on what brings you joy and let go of the rest." I asked: "What about Emotion Code?"

The Divine replied: "Yes, continue with Emotion Code because you love it. But don't approach it with a sales mindset. Share the experience. Stop chasing everything as if you're lacking money. It's there, waiting for you, but you're not seeing it. Remove the focus on sales. Trust the process. We've brought you to this point so that you can truly understand. Success is within reach. This is your key. Success is flowing towards you. It's time."

Suddenly, everything became clearer. I finally understood. It was exactly what I had been doing all along. I pursued language coaching because I was capable of doing it, not necessarily because I wanted to. I failed to listen to the yearnings of my heart. I was driven by the pursuit of money, unknowingly setting myself on a path of scarcity that the universe mirrored back to me. "Be careful what you wish for," indeed. I allowed those insights to sink in, and then the changes began.

Art was the way. Art had always been my dream. I had envisioned myself as an artist in France since I was 12 years old. It was a constant presence on my vision board. But I had been avoiding it, playing small.


Nicky Howard painting, woman painting
Me in my bliss, painting

If you've seen my Instagram and Facebook posts, you'll notice my recent burst of creativity in crafting wellness and healing stones. I needed to create an Instagram shop for my creations. However, Facebook META had other plans, and I was denied the ability to advertise or create a shop without any explanation. That was the breaking point. I decided to start fresh with a new profile, a new energy. And with that new beginning, I began to question everything. It was time to let go of language coaching. I closed all the related pages and groups and updated my website once again. As I rewrote and revamped, it was as if a veil had been lifted. The answers to those initial questions that plagued me at the beginning came pouring in. I am a creator, and my purpose is to awaken the creator within you. But it's not limited to artistic creation. It extends to all aspects of your life. You are the creator of your life. As a woman, you possess the power to create life itself, serving as the portal of creation. By igniting the creator in all its forms within you, we are also awakening the Divine Feminine, a topic I'll delve into further in another blog. I now know who I am and what I am meant to do. It finally makes sense! The takeaway from this blog is that we must follow our bliss, our joy—the very thing that captivated us when we were young, the activity that engrossed us completely. Don't choose a career or a direction solely for the money, as you'll forever be chasing after it. Instead, choose your bliss. What is your bliss? I would love to hear from you. Feel free to let me know or share your thoughts in the comments. And don't forget to check out my Instagram and Facebook to see my creations.

Regenerate response

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