30 June 2021
It's been a journey, healing the feminine/masculine wound, something that has cropped up a lot in my Twinflame relationship. Both of us have the wound of being crushed by the opposite sex. We had worked through a major block recently, it was a beautiful moment. The next day, however, I woke up, got up and felt a pain inside my right thigh. I don't know if I had twisted it, sciatica or pulled a muscle. And today, the next day it is still painful, I can barely put my weight on it. I decided to paint through the pain and see what came up.
To start, I felt into my pain then began to journal, it all poured out about me silencing my voice, who I am for the masculine, and that my partner had also done the same in his past relationships.
The first layer
I felt I was connecting to my womb, the seat of the feminine, to my root chakra. No oils
So much red, and I felt so angry, angry at myself for allowing myself to be abused this way. This is m fault, I allowed them to walk over me and treat as they wanted. I had mistaken attraction for love, and I fallen for the partners because they had fallen for me. They had all been attracted by my light which was too much for them. I allowed them to stamp out my light for them to shine. How wrong I was! I would dress to please them, listen to the music they liked, I disappeared and became a chameleon, simply because I wanted to be loved.
Peace Blend Essential oil
When I started painting this, it looked like a pair of breasts, then turned into two roses and painted green around them. Roses of Peace? Pink roses are the ultimate symbol of feminine.
Peace blend assists individuals lacking inner peace, allows to let go of attachments to feel the flow of the divine. Only connecting to the divine creates peace. Do I have an inner conflict of feminine and masculine? Only I can give myself peace, no one other.
Ginger and Cedarwood oils
The question popped in my head "And what if men had vaginas?"!!
Men penetrate women, it feels like intrusion somehow, they feel like intruders. Or they felt like intruders. In the wrong relationship its like intrusion into my soul, the way I am meant to be. There's a tree on my phone case that caught my attention. I have Cedarwood oil in this painting. Cedarwood heals the emotion of being isolated, that there is support, just to look for it. Support too of myself, that I need to emotionally support myself and look after myself. Feed my root chakra.
Then I realised I allowed all of this. I never set my boundaries. I never said no. Never. This is my doing. I gave permission. I didn't stand tall like a tree. I bent my branches over and over. I made myself small so that they could feel better about themselves.
Pink Pepper oils
Each has their boundary. Orange is the sacral, pleasure. We can have pleasure with boundaries; and each is allowed their pleasure for themselves. It's all there to help me learn and to understand the feminine energy. Let go of the story.
Lemon Eucalyptus creates a protective space around individuals, helps us recognise when we need to create effective boundaries. For emotions such as co-dependency, unprotected
Blue and pink intertwined. Combining the feminine and masculine. Integration. One is not separate from the other. Was I healing and working through my twin flames energy even when we weren't connected? And he mine? Were we trying to compensate the others wound?
I then went on to do Emotion Code which revealed a lot. SO many emotions of being unsupported, every year from 35 to present day. My leg cannot support me at the moment when I stand, showing a total reflection of bing unsupported by the masculine in nearly all my relationships.
After doing the Emotion Code session I was able to use my leg for support after a few days, and I feel that I have finally healed this wound!
This is the power of Intuartiv Expression, Essential oils and Emotion Code