Sexual Healing through painting
This blog article is probably a very strong one for my first one on here, but it feel so right to do so, by the power of it and also by the fact that we are in the age of the Divine Feminine which strongly came through on writing.
I haven’t painted about a specific issue for a very long time, even longer journaling about it, which is strange as this is what I teach in my facilitator’s course, but today’s seemed different, important; knew I had to paint through and release something deep in order to help me understand. What came through had me in tears, I didn’t realise how deep the wound was, or how big. It also seemed significant in the light of the forthcoming solar eclipse Ring of Fire and the Goddess Sekhmet. So, this blog is a journey through this painting and the pain released.
It is also a great representation of the power of Intuartiv Expression.
Last night something small occurred , that had it happened at any other time it would not have had the effect it had on me last night, in fact it would probably have had the opposite.
My partner and I, as Twin Flames have been, as part of our journey, releasing triggers and blocks, including sexual ones. As TF (one soul, two bodies), our journey back to pure unconditional love involves releases ALL of our traumas from all lives. Last night was one of those moments.
My partner woke me in the night, and proceeded to caress me sexually, much to my enjoyment, at one moment as I was beginning to get really aroused, he stopped to blow his nose and have a drink of water. And that was the end of the caress, which left me a little perplexed. If this had happened at any other time, I probably wouldn’t have minded, seeing it as a way to keep the sexual energy, or just enjoy the moment without the desire to go further. This time however it was different. We had previously over several months released sexual blocks from my partner, and I noticed that, over the last weeks I was now being blocked from having orgasm or pleasure. Either something would happen to interrupt the intimate moment, or I wouldn’t reach orgasm (something that had never been easy for me in the past). It had seemed a quite a time since I had had the pleasure of climaxing and had said to my partner a few days before “I think it’s my time for releasing sexual blocks and trauma”. When he had stopped caressing me, it unexpectantly brought up feelings from the past, of men getting bored/impatient waiting for me to climax. Steve isn’t this person, quite the opposite, in fact, however it triggered the past memories, including my first sexual encounters.
I remember two distinct occasions around the ages of about 20 where the 2 separate encounters at that time (too short lived to be called boyfriends ) were caressing themselves and expecting me to do the same, and saying, “Are you there yet?”, (talk about pressure!), their moment to climax dependant on me climaxing by myself. I was incredibly naïve sexually at this age (my first intercourse was with my ex-husband at the age of 21) and the possibility of me climaxing by masturbation whilst there was a boyfriend there was just unknown to me. These two moments led to a life of putting my partner’s pleasures before my own, including 25 years of faking orgasm with my ex-husband, to endless other relationships and encounters post-divorce being used for the pleasure of men and pleasing them and their desires rather than my own. My own pleasure didn’t count and if I took time to have an orgasm, my thoughts were always the same “men would surely get bored waiting for me” so I would just forego any idea of climaxing for myself. Crazy when toy think that the average time it takes a girl to climax is 20 minutes ). I gave away ALL my power. Last night I knew my partner definitely had NOT stopped because he was bored or impatient but simply because it was a moment to caress me in itself without an end ( it was 4am!) in mind. But it triggered a whole release for me emotionally.
Today I decided to paint and journal the pain out and I was shocked to what was revealed. It also confirmed to me how powerful the Doterra Essential oils are in the process, and their connection to emotions and how tying it all together though the painting and journaling creates incredible release as well as understand what is going on.
With the method of IntuARTiv Expression, all oils are chosen intuitively. As my oils are arranged (very OCD lol) in flower, tree, herbs oils, it is difficult for me to choose with my eyes closed as I know the positions of the oils. Instead I had put little stickers with the names of oils on to bingo chips, and put them in a tray. I close my eyes and choose a chip for the oil.
Then, oils are added to the paint and I paint in layers. Each layer being like a new canvas, drying and journaling in between. The emotions of the oils are taken from the book Essential Emotions, available here ( and receive 10 % off with the coupon code “intuartivexpression”). All Essential oils are from Doterra available by clicking here
Paints and paper ideas can be found here
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